39 Years of Marriage and a Baseball Game

The ACC baseball tournament this year was a wild affair, at least for Carolina fans.

The Heels beat Miami 10-0 in the first game on Thursday afternoon that ended in a Mercy Rule invocation in the eighth inning. What an easy start. The toughest part of the game was finding parking near the stadium on a workday when most of the parking was already taken by, I don’t know, people who aren’t retired and still work, I suppose.

I ended up on the top level of a high rise parking structure a few blocks from Durham Bulls Park. When I returned, it took 28 minutes to exit the structure and I swore I would plan better in the future.

On Friday evening, we played Clemson in a game that everyone knew from the get-go was meaningless. Everyone knew it was meaningless, but no one knew why. That’s the great thing about college baseball tournaments. They use weird formats that fans don’t understand, frequently involving some permutation of a round-robin or double-elimination format.

Completely confused, most fans just follow the crowd to whatever game their team might be playing. I heard countless conversations on the concourse involving fans trying to explain the tournament to one another. None looked satisfied.

I didn’t bother to figure out the logic of the Clemson game (I just followed the crowd), but I suspect that the number of wins and losses for the contestants combined with head-to-head records led one to the undeniable truth that, regardless of who won the UNC-Clemson game, the winner of the UNC-NC State game on Saturday night would play Virginia Tech in the finals.

I was nearly as confused by the Diamond Heels coaching staff’s decision to pitch our second best pitcher in a game that didn’t matter, but pitch he did.

The Clemson game went on for 14 innings and ended about 1 a.m. The evening was unseasonably cool and while many fans left early, many of those who remained were under blankets. The rest of us just cheered and shivered.

Carolina entered the top of the ninth inning down 7-2. I remarked to a fellow UNC fan that you know you’re having a good year when you enter the top of the ninth five runs down and feel like you still have a shot at winning. About five minutes later, Brian Holberton crushed a 3-run homer that tied the game. We won 12-7 in the 14^th inning.

Things went from bad to worse on Saturday night when the Tar Heels needed 18 innings to beat NC State 2-1. NC State pitcher Carlos Rodon pitched a masterful 1-hit game for ten innings . . . and lost.

Saturday was my wedding anniversary, so I stayed home and watched the game on Fox Sports. I got to sleep after 2:00.

Tar Heel fans were Zombies for the Virginia Tech game on Sunday, and who could blame them? Still, they managed to cheer their team on (uncharacteristically quietly, I should add) to win the ACC Tournament 4-1.

The Tar Heels had played three of their last two games (you read that right) but they were completely out of pitchers for the championship game with the Hokies.

Walking into the stadium, I started a conversation with a Hokie fan.

“I have no earthly idea who we’re pitching today. I can’t think of anyone we haven’t used over the past three days”, I told him.

“Oh, I know,” he replied, “they announced it. Can’t think of the kid’s name, but it sounds like a porn star.”

A porn star? I though a few seconds.

“Surely not Taylore Cherry!” I said.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“It can’t be,” I argued. “He’s a freshman who hasn’t thrown three innings all year.”

That turned out to be a slight exaggeration. He had thrown exactly three innings all year, had a record of 0-0 and an ERA over 13. Still, the youngster threw 5 innings without giving up a single run. He got a huge ovation when he picked up his trophy.

Cherry is about 6’ 7” and 270 pounds, as I recall. Standing in the dugout, he looks bigger than the two players on either side of him combined.

Cherry has no pitching motion, yet, though I’m sure Scott Forbes will fix that. He just rears back and throws the ball past hitters using nothing but biceps.

If Taylore ever integrates a leg kick and a hip snap into his motion, he will throw a 300 mile per hour fast ball. Cherry left the game with a 1-0 lead and got the win.

Go Heels. Now, could I have a cup of coffee? Make that a red eye.

The Virginia Tech game lasted 8 ½ innings. I couldn’t help but think how 9 innings is really a great length for a baseball game.

My wife, bless her heart, has been planning a trip to the Grand Canyon and Four Corners area for nearly a year. It’s a Bucket List thing. She somehow managed to book reservations for precisely the 11 days that would preclude me from seeing the Regionals or Super-Regionals, so today was my last baseball game for 2013. Unless, of course, I go to the CWS in Omaha, which is still a possibility.

Tomorrow I will unpack my baseball backpack, the one I leave by the door for fast getaways on game days. The inflatable seat cushion from Eddie Bauer, the scorebook and mechanical pencil, the bifocal sunglasses (so I can see the game and the scorebook) and the small flashlight I use to walk home from night games will all go to their storage spot until next February.

Heck, I’ll probably even clean out the last few kernels of popcorn that my buddy, Elliot, spilled into my backpack on opening day.

I’m not upset about missing these two tournaments and if I were I wouldn’t tell a soul. That was my 39^th anniversary I mentioned on Saturday evening and I haven’t stayed married for 39 years by being a damned fool.

My wife told me that it would be OK to go to Saturday night’s game after I took her out for a celebratory anniversary dinner. Ha! I’ve been married way too long to fall for that one.

I did, however, end up following the 18^th inning of the State game on Twitter at 2 a.m. with my iPhone held under the blankets to block the light.

Besides, would you seriously rather go to your fortieth baseball game of the season than visit the Grand Canyon???

Yeah, me, too, but it ain’t gonna happen.

Suck it up and head west, young man.