Battle of the Cheap Seats

The Arizona Wildcats may have won the title, but the fans in the cheap seats stole the show at the College World Series Finals the past two nights.

General Admission tickets are available for the outfield seats if you stand in line early enough on game day. The seats are the last in the stadium to enjoy shade on a hot afternoon and fans stare directly into the sun for the first several innings. The GA seats are mostly filled by college students who seem to need more than a good baseball game to occupy their time.

As I noted in my previous blog, the rest of TD Ameritrade Park in Omaha was startled early in Game One when, during a quiet time of the game, the fans in left field suddenly stood and shouted in unison, "Right field sucks!"

As you can tell from the video, it wasn’t a chant. It was more like someone suddenly standing up in a quiet restaurant and shouting, "I'm bored!"

About the time the laughter died down in the rest of the stadium, the fans in right field stood and returned the insult. It went downhill from there. Turns out it was only a warm-up for Game Two.

Game Two was much better than Game One, though Arizona ultimately won both. ‘Zona scored first and held a one-run lead much of the game until South Carolina tied it in the 7th. The ending was pretty dramatic until UA broke it open in the top of the ninth. Still, USC loaded the bases in the bottom of the ninth, down 4-1, and got the winning run to the plate before losing it on a fly ball to center.

The weather for Game Two was better, too. Temperatures dropped early in the evening.  A beautiful breeze blowing in from left field kept us cool but probably also kept a potential Carolina dinger inside the park. 

Still, nothing topped the cheap-seaters.

After the initial insults were hurled at one another, the left field fans secretly inflated what seemed like a hundred beach balls.  They bounced them just above their heads looking for all the world like a giant human popcorn machine. 

Waves of beach balls washed out of the stands and onto the field and the game was delayed while a half dozen of the ground crew cleared them.

The kids in left explained: "We've got baa-alllls!" Clap. Clap. Clap-clap-clap. "We've got baa-alllls!" Clap. Clap. Clap-clap-clap. 

Yes, you do.

An inning later, a left field fan dropped a single beach ball onto the field. The umpires called time so a ground crew member could run onto the field and remove it.  He ran back off the field with the ball under his arm but when he got nearly back, the fans rolled another ball onto the field. Then another. And another.

You could see the kids queuing up the next ball to drop, like silver balls in a pinball machine, waiting for the ground crew member to almost get off the field before dropping the next. After running on and off the field four times, the poor guy was out of breath and signaled for another member of the ground crew to take over.

One devious fan dropped a beach ball onto the field and waited for the ground crew to almost reach it, then pulled it back into the stands just out of their grasp with a string no one could see.

The left field stands were a mixture of SC fans, UA fans and others. So were the right field stands. The stupidity, the hilarity and the genius of this comedy was the ad hoc banding together of kids for a friendly competition with another group of kids who had nothing in common other than the random assignment of their stadium seats.

God, I miss college.

The beach ball tricks having lost their novelty, several left field fans jumped down onto the field and ran around until Security caught them and escorted them out of the stadium. 

At one point, six kids were being chased across the field at the same time by a dozen security guards. One would climb down onto the field and as soon as Security started chasing him another would jump down and head in the opposite direction. 

There is something about a jailbreak that is timelessly hilarious.

They weren't all guys, either. One cute, tiny, blonde co-ed in a sundress eluded Security for quite a while. (I still haven't figured out how she jumped down from atop a 9-foot wall.) As she ran across the field, she reached over and patted every player she passed on the butt. 

That's entertainment.
 

Not everyone was amused.  A Gamecock couple sat in front of me. The young lady stood up at one point and said, "I'm outta here."

"Where are you going?" her boyfriend asked.

"I cannot watch a baseball game with these people," she informed him and strode off.

Her boyfriend gave an embarrassed smile to the fans around him and shrugged, but I like a woman who takes her baseball seriously.

Now, I have mixed feelings about interrupting a championship baseball game, but serious baseball fans all around me were enjoying the sideshow. Try that stuff at the NCAA basketball finals and other fans will end you.

I began to wonder why we felt differently when a baseball game is delayed than we would feel about basketball or football interruptions. I gave it a great deal of thought and here's my conclusion.

We're baseball fans. We wait.

We wait five minutes between half innings for the sides to change. We wait while the pitcher stares at the catcher for a sign for so long that the batter gets tired of waiting and steps out of the box so the pitcher has to wait for him.

We wait during conferences at the mound and during countless pitching changes. We wait while one of the coaches argues a call with the umpires. We wait while the umps talk it over amongst themselves. We wait while the umpire makes notes in his little notepad after ejecting the manager for the aforementioned arguing.

We wait while the pitcher throws to first, thirteen consecutive times despite the boos, to hold the runner. We wait for hours for the rain to stop so the game can continue.

We even wait for everyone in the stadium to stand up and sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” in the middle of the 7th inning when it’s obvious that we're already at the ballgame. (Logically, this is a song you should sing at home before the ballgame.)

While we wait we want to be entertained. We want to watch kids spin around a bat until they're dizzy and then stumble and fall while they try to run to first base.  After five consecutive innings without a hit, we'd watch Ron Paul debate Rick Perry on YouTube. Twice.

We watched kids dress up like sumo wrestlers and try to knock each other down between innings until it occurred to someone that we might be offending very large Japanese men who toss people around for a living.

One night at a very slow UNC baseball game we watched a fat man in shorts and suspenders get into a screaming match with the popcorn vendor and at the time we were damned thankful for the diversion.

We baseball fans don't object to a little creative entertainment from our fellow fans while we wait as long as they don't interrupt that 5-second streak of action that can decide the game.

So, I salute those of you who were ejected from the stadium in Omaha for running onto the field just to entertain the rest of us — and maybe got arrested for trespassing, for all I know.

And you USC Gamecocks guys who were brave enough to wear those "I ♥ Cockz" t-shirts to show your team loyalty. That's a step farther than I'm willing to go for my alma mater.  

(You know we’re not laughing with you, right?)

This Bud's for all of you in the cheap seats at the CWS, but I digress.

There was also a baseball game.

In fact, a good one that ended with fireworks and an Arizona dog pile. Congrats, UA. You went undefeated in the CWS and clearly deserved your title. The SC fans around me were dejected, but seemed happy and a bit surprised to have reached the finals.

A friend asked me if, all things considered — the early flights with barely-made connections, the oppressive heat and humidity, the ridiculously overpriced Comfort Suites hotel room — the trip to Omaha was worth it.

Honestly? I had a ball.

Several, actually. 

The College World Series: Unexpected Drama

The most dramatic moment of last night's Game One of the 2012 College World Series was Robert Refsnyder's two-run homer for Arizona in the bottom of the first inning.

But the second most dramatic moment was when the entire left field section of cheap seats shouted in unison, "Right field sucks!"

It wasn't a chant, but one loud, dramatic outburst that startled the stadium before everyone started to laugh.

Moments later, the right field cheap-seaters stood and shouted, "Left field sucks!" even louder and the entire stadium reveled in it.

It had only just begun, as Karen Carpenter would say.

OK, maybe it was the third-most dramatic moment, following a flyover by four F16 Vipers coordinated with the end of the National Anthem, so low you could feel the rumble in your gut. The shivers down my spine weren't entirely from the jet engines.

The game could have been more dramatic-- South Carolina never recovered from Refsnyder's yard ball-- but I still had a great time and the pageantry was something to behold.

It gets hot in Omaha in June. There wasn't a dry T-shirt in the house. I walked to the top of the stadium a few times to catch a nice breeze, but in the seats the air was still and the concrete kept it from cooling down.

When I left the stadium right after the game to walk the 12 miles to my parking garage, the temperature was immediately pleasant with a nice breeze.

Reasonably-priced parking is hard to find anywhere around downtown Omaha. Real estate is in short supply here on the prairie, you know.

Speaking of t-shirts, I shopped for one with the 2012 CWS logo, but couldn't pull the trigger. I found a baseball cap I liked (I desperately need another baseball cap), then noticed it had a UPS logo on the back.

I'm not buying anything with Christian Laettner's monogram on it.

The middle innings got a little boring as 'Zona kept widening the margin and USC couldn't score. Beach balls began bouncing around the left field stands and the fans began to chant "we've got beach balls!" derisively to their less fortunate right field-stands rivals.

But the most dramatic fan display was a super slow-mo wave from the left field cheapies. They rose slowly from their seats with perfect timing and just froze with their hands in the air. It was worth the price of admission.

I don't know where or how the rivalry began between the left and right field grandstand occupants that, based on the equal mixture of school colors in each was not fan-based, but it seemed deep-seated.

(I can not pass up a pun. Sorry.)

The NCAA played a lengthy promo on the jumbrotron as a tribute to championships in its many sports. How they managed to show several schools while omitting the University of Kentucky's basketball title was. . . well, not the least surprising.

They did manage to work in a shot of Duke and Coach K, though.

Your remember Duke in the NCAA basketball tournament, right? Lost early to basketball powerhouse Lehigh? Yeah, them.

So, Game Two tonight. Hoping for a little more drama of the baseball kind.

I'll get back to you on the cap.

Watching Strangers Play

Would you get up at 4 a.m. on a Sunday morning and fly for six hours to Omaha, Nebraska to watch two teams that are not your alma mater play in the finals of the College World Series?

Yeah, me too!

The best-of-three finals will be played Sunday, Monday and Tuesday (if necessary) by Arizona and the winner of tonight’s game between SEC foes South Carolina and Arkansas.

The SEC has already won the 2012 football title (Alabama beat LSU) and the basketball title (UK beat Kansas). Can they sweep all three major sports? Can the SEC win the presidential election in November? Heck, they’re winning everything else.

Sadly for us Wildcat fans, UK was 5-1 against the two teams competing for the final spot, Arkansas and South Carolina, but was eliminated in the Regionals by a Kent State hit that was incorrectly ruled a home run. But such are the breaks of the game.

As Courier-Journal sportswriter Kyle Tucker Tweeted today:

 “Just one break in Gary [Indiana Regional] and could be Cats.”

Baseball can break your heart, even if you don't root for the Cubs or the Red Sox.

My UNC Diamond Heels were eliminated in the Chapel Hill Regional by St. Johns, then UK lost in Gary. (What the hell were they doing in Gary, Indiana, right?) As it stands, I’ll be watching someone else play in Omaha Sunday and Monday evenings, but I’m stoked. This should be a blast and, as I’ve mentioned before, the CWS is on my bucket list.

All three games will be televised beginning at 8 p.m. on ESPN 2 Sunday and ESPN on Monday and Tuesday. All three will be webcast on ESPN3.com.

I’ll also be posting updates on Twitter throughout the series, including a photo or two. Just follow @BeingSouthern.

The College World Series: Should I Stay or Should I go?

The College World Series is heading toward its final weekend. At this point, eight teams remain: Arizona, UCLA, Florida, Florida State, Stony Brook, South Carolina, Kent State and Arkansas.

Three schools are from the SEC. (Sounds a lot like football and baseball, huh?)

Kentucky might have been there instead of Kent State had an umpire not incorrectly ruled a three-run homer for Kent State (who eliminated UK 3-2). Video showed that the ball hit below the yellow home run stripe and bounced back onto the field, but the ump didn’t see it that way and there was no way to reverse the call. Such is baseball.

Deciding when to go to the College World Series is more of a challenge than you’d think.

For the past three or four seasons, I’ve wanted to follow UNC to Omaha but could never quite pull the trigger. This season, I had high hopes that either UNC or my alma mater, UK, would make it to Omaha, but both were eliminated in the Regionals. And, therein lies the problem.

The 2012 CWS will begin June 15 and end June 26, assuming the best-of-three finals last three games. That’s 12 days with games being played on all but Saturday, June 23^rd. One way to see the CWS would be to fly out for the entire championship.

With all due respect to Omaha, I don’t want to spend twelve days there.

If you’re not going to see the entire championship, which part should you see?

Eight college teams will make the trip to Omaha, but one fourth of them will only play two games, lose both in the double-elimination format, and head for home. Within a few more days, another fourth will be finished.

If you plan to spend the entire tournament in Omaha — and, what, visit the zoo six times? — it is likely that your team will go home long before you. So, planning for the entire twelve days is, for me at least, not an option.

A second strategy is to show up at the CWS early and plan to stay only a few days. Omaha flights and hotels, however, are at peak capacity during the CWS and the worst is the first weekend when all eight teams and their fans are there.

As teams begin to lose and go home, the town clears out.

Another strategy is to wait to see if your team advances, then plan your travel. I’ve considered this two seasons, only to see the Tar Heels come home early and kill my plans. By then, even if your team wins, you’ll struggle to find flights and hotel rooms, and in all likelihood, tickets.

The strategy I’m taking this year is to attend the finals, regardless of who plays. The last two teams standing switch from double-elimination format to a best-of-three series. It is certain that the two teams in the finals will play two games on June 24^th and 25^th and a third on June 26^th if needed.

Of course, I won’t get to see either UK or UNC play, but I’ve come to realize that I might wait forever to see that happen. Instead, I’m gonna cross the CWS off my bucket list knowing I’ll get to see two great teams play two games.

If they split the first two, I’ll play the third game by ear. Maybe I’ll scramble for a ticket and postpone my flight home. Or, maybe I’ll miss that third game and watch it on TV.

We’ll see.

I have my tickets, though. Even that was a challenge because I’m attending alone and no one sells single tickets. But, that’s another post.

Foul Ball

Longtime Baltimore Orioles PA announcer, Rex Barney, was famous for saying, “Give that fan a contract!" when a fan caught a foul ball on the fly, but if the fan dropped it, Barney would say, "Give that fan... an error!"

Fans in that situation have to decide whether to try to catch the ball or bail out to avoid getting hurt. Either decision can be right or wrong depending on the ball’s speed and trajectory and the fan's bare-handed fielding skills.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who played baseball as a kid and those who didn't. If you catch well, you'll be more inclined to go for the catch and take a shot at fleeting fan appreciation.

My wife, on the other hand, never learned to catch. If I toss a pillow to her, she will cover her head, duck and scream. Seriously. Turns out that whether a ball is being thrown to you or at you is a very personal perspective.

It’s commonplace to see a group of fans scream, cover their heads, and bail out of their seats when a soft pop foul appears about to drop on top of them. In my observation, women do this more often than men but in fairness, a lot of men do it, too. The guys just suppress the scream. Usually.

A foul tip hitting the safety net in front of the stands always causes fans to duck before they remember the net’s there to stop it.

When you watch these reactions from safer seats, it’s hard not to chuckle. (Especially if a guy screams.)

Occasionally, a fan catches a foul ball bare-handed. They unfailingly hold the ball over their head to solicit applause—deserved, in my opinion—from the other fans.

More often, fans duck and scatter and one chases the ball down and picks it up when it stops rolling. That is not a catch. Many fans, nonetheless, hold that ball over their head. 

Don’t be a buffoon. You don’t get applause for that. Return to your seat and try not to draw attention to yourself.

If you want applause for picking a baseball up off the ground, hand it to the nearest youngster before you sit down. That way it doesn’t look like you just arm-wrestled a kid for an Oreo and expected people to cheer while you ate it. 

Geez, you can buy a new baseball at Amazon.com for five bucks. Will a free used baseball really make your day?

They’re not always free at college games, by the way. Some stadiums insist you return foul balls and dingers, like Elon University and Duke, as I recall. UNC and others let you keep the ball.

I went to see UNC play at Elon a few years back and noticed a couple of students in Elon polo shirts and shorts who apparently had the responsibility to track down foul balls and reclaim them. An adult fan picked up a foul ball and within seconds one of the students showed up and recovered it.

A few minutes later, the batter hit a high foul ball directly behind the plate and over the stands. I watched a small boy, perhaps 11, catch the ball on a dead run on its first bounce in the parking lot and head towards some nearby woods as hard as he could go. As I like to say when I see a moon shot leaving the park, “That one ain’t coming back.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. Foul balls can be dangerous. Fans have been injured seriously and even killed. Occasionally, a bat even gets slung into the stands by accident. You have to know when duck-and-run is the right strategy.

Physics is the key.

A moving baseball has both vertical and horizontal velocity. The vertical velocity of a ball hit into the air will drop to zero when it reaches it’s peak height. It will then reach the ground at the same speed as if it had been dropped from its peak height. If a foul ball goes really high but doesn’t travel far from the hitter, you can typically catch it bare-handed without a lot of pain.

A foul ball that has to go up and over the safety net behind the batter but lands not far behind the batter is not going to sting a lot. A line drive foul ball that comes sizzling into the stands without much altitude can take your head off. 

I saw an adult fan at Baltimore’s old Memorial Stadium bare-hand a line drive foul ball in the left field stands near the foul pole. He held the ball in the air waiting for the cameras to find him, acknowledging the applause from fans and hearing the aforementioned contract offer from Rex Barney. I kept an eye on him for a minute after play resumed. He waited until the cameras and fans had turned away and then started shaking and rubbing his aching hand. You could see the pain on his face.

As Billy Crystal's Fernando Lamas character used to say on Saturday Night Live, “It is better to look good than to feel good, don't you think?”

If a bat ever comes into the stands, even if it has a lazy, pop-fly trajectory, best to duck.

On the other hand, if you’re sitting behind the safety net behind home plate and a lazy pop fly heads your way, don’t duck and run — catch the damned thing.

Yes, fans will light-heartedly boo if you try to catch it and don’t, but this is your moment in the spotlight. No guts, no glory. Of all the people in the stadium, God chose you to sit under that foul ball.

Players on the field sometimes have to make these decisions, too. A line drive hit right back at the pitcher gives him about a millisecond to decide whether to try to protect himself by catching it, or to get the hell out of the way. More often than not it’s an instinctive reaction and not a decision. 

Remember, though, that the pitcher has something to gain by catching the ball — an out. You stand to gain a slightly used $5 baseball that you really ought to give to some stranger’s kid, anyway.

Kids can take gloves to a ballgame but adults who do look like dorks. At a recent UNC home game, the batter hit a sizzling line drive foul ball into the left field grandstands near where two teens were sitting. One wore a glove. 

Instead of ducking and covering, the kid with the glove stood up, ran about three steps to his right and snagged the line drive beautifully. Frankly, it was one of the best catches I saw all night. Then, inexplicably, he ran back to his seat and sat down (maybe he thought he was at Elon). 

He received a rousing round of applause from the fans and the PA announcer simply said, “How about that!” 

Then he held the ball over his head. 

That’s how you do it.

Talkin' Baseball

Some people worry about coming off as a newbie at baseball games. With the conference tournaments this weekend, the Regionals next weekend, the Super Regionals the following weekend and the College World Series in Omaha in mid-June, this is a great time to see some college baseball. Here are some tips to help you pass as a veteran bleacher bum.

First, get the baseball cap I discussed in my last blog post and wear it a little before you go to a game. Sweat in it if you can (guys only), so it doesn’t look new at the park.

If you’re a girl, wear your hair in a ponytail pulled through the back of your cap. It’s cute beyond all explanation.

Now, you can get away with not saying much at the park, though I have found that real bleacher bums love it when a newbie asks questions. They’re not perturbed; they jump at the chance to look knowledgeable.

Unless, of course, you ask them to explain a balk, which almost no one can do.

So, asking questions and revealing your lack of knowledge is a totally legit way to go and it can work well for you, especially if you’re an attractive female.

If you’re a guy, it might be better to fake it.

If the batter hits a high, fly ball to the outfield and the outfielder takes a step or two and waits for the easy catch, just nonchalantly say, “Can o’ corn.” I read that the expression came from shopkeepers who would tilt a can of corn on the top shelf with a stick and catch it in their apron when it fell, but people make up crap like that all the time, so who knows.

Any fan worth his salt yells at the umpire. I was at a game with a friend when the opposing pitcher threw a strike and the umpire called it correctly. My buddy yelled, “Come on, Blue! Wipe off your glasses!”

I looked at my buddy and asked, “What? It was waist high and right over the plate.”

He said, “So?”

His point is, you have to rag on the umpires a lot and it doesn’t matter whether you think he is right or not. If it’s a call against your team, it’s a bad call.

And always, always call him “Blue”, not “umpire” or “ump” and certainly not “ref”.

Many umpires wear black. It doesn’t matter. If you want respect from other fans, berate him as “Blue”.

One of my favorite expressions is “Baltimore chop”. That’s what you call a hit that strikes the ground just in front of home plate and bounces over the infielder’s head. Apparently, the Baltimore Orioles used to do that in the 1890’s on purpose, though if you see one today it was probably a mis-hit ball. 

If you see one, say, “Baltimore chop!”  Knowledgeable fans around you will smile with appreciation for your old-school baseball chops (pun intended).

You can call a home run just about anything you want except a “home run”, which will clearly identify you as a novice. At a minimum, call it a “homer”.

My favorite expressions for home runs are yard ball, dinger, moon shot and tater. Sometimes, you will know as soon as the ball leaves the bat that it will clear the fences. For extra credit, as soon as you know, and before the ball actually clears the fence, say, “that one ain’t coming back”.

All that protective gear the catcher wears is called the “tools of ignorance”. The phrase is attributed to a catcher, so it fits. Instead of saying, “He’s a catcher”, you say, “ He wears the tools of ignorance.”

If the pitcher throws a ball high and inside, close to the batter’s head, it’s called a brush-back, or one of my favorites, “chin music”. A hit that goes over the infielder’s head but not far enough for the outfielder to catch is called a Texas Leaguer, a blooper, or just a “bloop single”.

The pitcher’s mound is called “the hill”, “the bump” or even “the mound”, though never the “pitcher’s mound”. The white rectangle the pitcher touches with one foot is technically “the plate”, though no one calls it that. It’s called the rubber.

Cheese is a fastball and a yakker is a curve, though few people in the park are near enough the action to really distinguish between the two most of the time. You’ll know when the pitcher brings the cheese, and if it’s a big, slow yakker, you may detect that, as well. A batter who is called out on strikes is said to have been “caught looking” because he looked at his third strike instead of swinging at it.

A strikeout is a “K”, because scorekeepers use that letter to record a strikeout. No one knows why, though people have made up several reasons over the years. When a batter strikes out “caught looking”, the “K” is entered backwards in the scorebook, though I know one guy who scores it with a regular “K” and two dots next to it to look like eyes. Get it? Caught looking?

If all else fails and you feel you need to speak, ask, “Who’s on deck?” The next batter waits in the on-deck circle and the batter after him is said to be “in the hole”. If someone answers, just nod as if you knew he was the next batter but wanted to confirm.

This next part is vitally important. If you want to sound like a baseball insider, you have to say these expressions in a confident, knowledgeable way, even if you have no clue what they mean. Especially, if you have no clue what they mean.

It helps to act like you’re talking to yourself by not making eye contact with anyone around you.  I guarantee you that if a batter crushes a pitch and you quietly say, “that one ain’t coming back”, you’ll have them asking you to explain the balk rules.

So, next time the opposing pitcher walks to the bump and brings the cheese and your favorite team’s batter is caught looking because he was guessing yakker, grab your baseball cap, find a curse word appropriate for your surroundings, and scream, “C’mon, Blue, are you blind or what?” Then put your cap back on and shake your head in disgust.

Trust me. No one is going to know you grew up playing soccer.

Last weekend, I posted some Instagram shots of a college baseball game I attended at the University of Kentucky. My sister saw them and, knowing of my addiction for college baseball, asked, “How do you not have a baseball blog?”

I have about a million other things going on in my life, including several blogs, but college baseball is one of my true loves and, besides, if it makes my sister happy I’m all for it.

So, here goes.

My first thought was what to blog about, of course, and with a million baseball blogs already vying for mindshare that should have been a difficult decision. Surprisingly, it was not. I love going to college baseball games, though I occasionally attend minor league games and even a high school game now and then, but I rarely even watch Major League baseball on TV.

I took my two sons to a Yankees-Orioles game in Baltimore in 1997. I paid $300 for three tickets that turned out to be under an upper deck behind home plate. Well back under the concrete upper deck, we could see the ball leave Darryl Strawberry’s bat, but unless it was a grounder (it never was), it immediately disappeared from view. It was like watching TV with a blanket covering the top half of the screen.

Parking cost $50 and I spent an equal amount on souvenirs and concessions. That was the day my enthusiasm for the “Bigs” died.

So, I decided to blog about being a baseball fan, particularly a fan of baseball games whose tickets rarely cost more than about six bucks.

Where does one start a baseball fan blog? At the top, of course—with the baseball cap.

At the age of eight, I began playing baseball in my neighbor’s backyard in the tiny town of Dawson Springs, Kentucky. Every kid in the neighborhood, except me initially (I was the youngest), wore a baseball cap. I began a parental-begging campaign and one day in 1959 my mom gave me money to buy one.

I walked downtown to the clothing store at Main and Water Streets, Haye’s Dry Goods, and marched to the mens department at the back of the store. I told the salesman I wanted a baseball cap. He walked over to a wall covered with large, dark-stained wood drawers and pulled one open near the bottom. Inside were several rows of baseball caps in various sizes—no snapbacks or elastic-banded one-size-fits-all’s—in three colors, red, navy and green. I wanted navy because I was a New York Yankees and Mickey Mantle fan, though caps didn’t come with team logos then, at least not the ones you could buy in Dawson Springs.

The caps had the backs folded inside and the bills perfectly flat so they would stack. Back then you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a cap with a flat bill, though in some circles today they are all the rage. I’ve even seen some of UNC’s players wear flat bills, though it will always look strange to me. In my youth that would have been a self-hung dork sign.

The salesman handed me several sizes to try on until we found one that fit just right. I bought it and headed home. I seem to recall it cost a dollar, though maybe it was less. It was solid navy, made of wool, and had a paperboard bill.

I had seen older kids wear the bill folded in half like a little pup tent and they would sometimes stick the doubled bill flat into the hip pocket of their jeans with the beanie part hanging out. I put a crease down the center of my cap’s bill, pulled it over my crew cut and walked back up Meadows Hill to my neighborhood.

The first person I ran into was Jed Dillingham. I smiled and said, “I got a baseball cap!”

“You broke the bill,” he informed me. “You shouldn’t have done that.” Then I noticed the nice, gentle round curve of Jed’s bill. I had committed a baseball fashion faux pas. I had unknowingly ruined my brand new baseball cap and I was heartbroken.

Fortunately, I got my second cap just a few weeks later from our little league team. The first thing I did was run to Jed and ask him how to shape the bill. I still use his technique.

You can put a rubber band around the bill and let it set for a few days. Some people just keep shaping the bill with their hands until it eventually holds the desired curve. Some roll the bill and stuff it into a coffee mug for a few days.

Jed used none of these techniques. He placed a baseball under the bill of my cap and used a rubber band to shape the bill around the ball and I impatiently let it sit for a few days. I still use this method because it infuses the cap with baseball-y-ness.

Many baseball caps today have plastic in the bills and they are quite difficult to add more curve or to make flatter. Fortunately, I like the shape of most plastic-billed caps.

Major League teams get their caps exclusively from a company called New Era. They still use paperboard in the bills, just like my first baseball cap. Paperboard is less durable but more easily shaped. My first baseball cap was made of wool, as many still are, but most are made of synthetic material now, or cotton.

Who wears baseball caps? Nearly everyone in America, and because we are fashion trendsetters, they’re worn all over the world. Hollywood types have worn them ever since Steven Spielberg showed up on the set of Jaws wearing a cap. Spike Lee wears them. Football players wear them on the sidelines and basketball players wear them to post-game interviews. Hard to find a fisherman wearing anything but a baseball cap, at least east of the Mississippi.

I have a few baseball caps. I wasn't sure how many so I decided to count them for this blog. I display 15 of my favorites atop an armoire in my bedroom. These are my dress caps.

Then I remembered I had stacked the overflow in my closet. I counted 17. So, there are 32 currently in my bedroom, but only because a few months back I culled about a dozen that had seen far better days.

Oh, and by the backdoor I have a hat rack with seven or eight more that I wear fishing or to work in the yard. And, wait, three were in the wash today.

Why, you might well ask, does anyone need 43 baseball caps? I don’t need them, of course, but they’re more than baseball caps. They’re snapshots.

The Redskins cap is from my early days in Washington when the Skins ruled. I have a cap from Infoseek, a former employer and one of the first search engine companies, and I have one from Proxicom, an early dotcom. Raul Fernandez gave me that cap just before his company went public and he was able to become co-owner of the NHL Washington Capitals, the NBA Washington Wizards, and the WNBA Washington Mystics.

Ah, the dotcom era. Those were the days. Every company had a baseball cap with their logo.

I have a few from America Online, where I worked for nearly a decade and even one from AOL Time Warner after the ill-fated merger. One was a souvenir from a trip to the Everglades and I have a couple from Bethany Beach, Delaware, where we used to spend summer vacations when our kids were small. I have a couple of Tar Heel Baseball caps I wear to UNC games.

I have an Atlanta Braves cap I wore when my son played for the Little League Atlanta Braves and I have a Marmot baseball cap made of Gore-Tex that serves as a rain hat. I have a cap with The Headstones logo, a rock band from my high school that is still playing together, and several that were given to me by fly fishing guides. I have several caps from my alma mater.

My favorite, at least for now, is the one I’m wearing in my photo above.

I photographed my caps and added captions in this Tumblr and noticed it’s pretty much my autobiography written in baseball cap logos.

The Double Stack

A frequently asked question about baseball caps is how to clean them. If they’re wool, hand-wash them with Woolite and stuff the beanie with plastic grocery bags to hold its shape, then air-dry them. If they’re cotton or synthetic, throw them in the wash, then air-dry them with the beanie stuffed. I’ve washed dozens of caps this way and never had a problem. If the bill is plastic, it will come through washing unfazed but paperboard bills can lose a bit of curve and may need to be re-formed somewhat after they dry.

There are several ways to wear a baseball cap, though I typically wear them in the “normal” bill-in-front style. I also like the bill-in-back style in certain circumstances, though that used to be more fashionable than it is nowadays. There is the bill-to-the-side fashion preferred by hip-hoppers and if you get two caps as gifts on your 94^th birthday as my father-in-law did last week, you can even go for the two-fer look in the photo, though I don’t expect that style to go viral.

So, basically, you can wear them any way they fit on your head. In fact, there is a baseball tradition known as the “rally cap” for times when you find your favorite baseball team behind in the score. You simply wear the cap in any unusual way you can: inside out, upside down, folded in half, there are no rules.

Rally Caps

It doesn’t matter what you wear to a baseball game as long as you’re wearing a baseball cap. You can wear a business suit and a cap, or a tank top, jorts and a cap (a look also known as a "Full Florida") and you’ll still look like a real fan. At last night’s UNC-Virginia Tech game I counted 58 fans in my section and 27 wore baseball caps. That’s way too few in my opinion.

There are over 200 NCAA Division One baseball teams and more than 240 Division Two teams, meaning there is a good chance you can find a college game nearby. So, go to a baseball game. Be a fan.

But first, buy a baseball cap or two.

Or forty-three.